If you look at the economy, things look grim.
But the car world is anything but.
In fact, the car market today in no way resembles the rolling death traps designed during past economic downturns like the Chevy Citation, Cimarron by Cadillac (*vomits upon having to utter it in that order*), early Hyundais, the Geo Metro, and other vehicles that carried a 200% of dying by either 5mph impact or humiliation from driving them.
“competitive in performance, cadillac in appearance” is the least convincing slogan ever conceived
What’s the modern equivalent of a crappy car?
People pick on the Mitsubishi Mirage, and if you look at the balance sheet, it’s not great. 0-60 is comparable to a grain combine, and it’s cursed with one of those damned CVTs instead of normal gear selection.
it’s gonna blow!
But this is basic transport we’re talking about. It’s cheap, cheerful (and how can it not be when “Plasma Purple” is a color on tap?), and can pass a crash test with four stars.
For $13k, what else can you possibly ask for?
well.
This is, by the way, the cheapest new car on the market – and it’s getting replaced with something better.
Other crappy cars of recent time were replaced or discontinued in the past few years: the Smart, which has been mostly unchanged since a young intern by the name of Monica Lewinsky was employed in the White House, just released a new model which looks like an Apple product. Dodge hasn’t made the godforsaken Caliber in 3 years. You can slap a Jaguar badge on most new Hyundais and Kias without anyone batting an eyelash.
So why is this the case? What happened to those cars that you’d openly, mockingly laugh at your friends for buying new?
Well, there’s a few reasons:
1) Technology in general
Technology has vastly improved since the late-90s. No longer is it a novelty for a car to be designed by computer — or even have one inside. We’re on the verge of being able to mass-produce 3D-printed automobiles — there’s no excuse anymore for panel gaps, poorly-executed edges, or shoddy parts.
inventive
Also, that little thing called The Internet. People can research cars like never before — pricing them out, comparing them, then going down to the dealer that has the specific car they want. Speaking of which:
2) The demise of dealers
The dealer model is going away as we know it. For many dealers, it’s tough to swallow. People don’t need to purchase a vehicle from a borderline sociopath who screws them five ways from Friday before they’ve even signed for their shiny new Chevy Vega.
the sleaze, it just oozes from the screen
Car manufacturers can’t crank out models that are crap leaving it up to dealers to move them off the lot. Chances are, your average consumer has already compared the floor model you’re trying to pawn off on them with every possible competitive vehicle. If the thing taking up square feet in the showroom doesn’t have a backup camera, Bluetooth, and heated seats, you may as well just leave it in neutral and hipcheck it towards the closest intersection.
3) People are driving less
If you don’t really want to drive, you don’t have to anymore.
The person uninterested in car design who wants only basic transport is no longer a car consumer. They’re a millennial who can’t afford a car and either lives in Brooklyn, Ubers everywhere, or both.
let’s be fair: do you want someone who puts a pink mustache on a car behind the wheel
No longer do car designers have to pander to these filthiest of casuals with little SUV-pickup things designed by Playskool.
4) DAS GERMANS
The Germans have set the tone for the past two decades on what a “good” car should be. You don’t see Detroit trying desperately to keep up with Tokyo by building Ziploc-quality autos, you see everyone trying to match the fit-and-finish, forward-design, and performance of the best German makes.
literally can’t get better than this
I always thought the future of cars was a bunch of indistinguishable hover-jellybeans.
But this is the real future of cars: you can buy any new car — and not lose.